The Midway Mutants are one of the teams in Mutant Football League. They are a parody of the Chicago Bears. Their logo is an orange biohazard symbol on a dark blue background. Like the Burns, the roster consists of Skeletal Deadheads, Monster Orcs and Mutant-Humans. Their stadium is Mercenary Field situated in Chiraq, Killinois and is a parody of Soldier Field.
Having gone through 3 coaches and 39 offensive coordinators in the last 4 seasons, inept management and even more inept drafting has kept this once proud franchise in the cellars of the league. With a new #1 draft pick at Quarterback and All-Star running back Gorgon Powered, along with a young, hard hitting defense... the Midway Mutants have renewed hope to restore their long lost dominance in the league. (Mutant Football League, Team Scouting)
Theme[]
Demons at Church by Matthew Kurpakus
All-Star[]
- Gorgon Powered
- #24 Running back
OVERALL: 67
- Offense: 67
- Defense: 71
- Special Teams: 62
Dirty Tricks[]
Offense:
Defense:
- Berserk
- Ginormous (Alpha)
- QB Sack Attack (Alpha)
- Thunderclap
Player Stats[]
Offense:
Quarterbacks
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Throwing Velocity (TVC) | Short Accuracy Throwing (SAC) | Deep Accuracy Throwing (DAC) | Throwing Power (THP) | Intelligence (INT) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mitch Legitsky | Skeleton | 72 | 80 | 93 | 79 | 79 | 66 |
| Yikes Lemon | Orc | 50 | 49 | 67 | 57 | 68 | 50 |
| Bark Buttfumble | Human | 62 | 50 | 73 | 64 | 73 | 65 |
| Mendy Mayhem | Skeleton | 62 | 58 | 76 | 69 | 73 | 63 |
| Wretched Gristle | Orc | 62 | 52 | 76 | 70 | 74 | 63 |
Running Backs
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Route Running (RTE) | Break Tackles(BT) | Hands/Ability to not Fumble (HND) | Catching (CTH) | Speed (SPD) | Toughness (TGH) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Gorgon Powered* | Skeleton | 73 | 78 | 86 | 86 | 76 | 68 | 87 |
| Twitchy Krumps | Skeleton | 70 | 83 | 75 | 75 | 75 | 68 | 83 |
| Skriek Comet | Skeleton | 78 | 86 | 82 | 76 | 87 | 97 | 71 |
| Henry Cuttingham | Skeleton | 56 | 57 | 66 | 68 | 79 | 58 | 65 |
| Owen Deadwood | Skeleton | 65 | 76 | 73 | 79 | 79 | 49 | 79 |
Receivers
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Route Running (RTE) | Catching (CTH) | Vertical/Jumping (VER) | Speed (SPD) | Intelligence (INT) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Slameron Scarydeath | Human | 60 | 62 | 73 | 61 | 62 | 54 |
| Heaven Smight | Skeleton | 60 | 56 | 75 | 77 | 73 | 48 |
| Mosh Hellamy | Skeleton | 56 | 63 | 68 | 63 | 63 | 41 |
| Carcass Beatsome | Skeleton | 58 | 42 | 78 | 76 | 80 | 50 |
| Schmendle Fright | Skeleton | 68 | 74 | 76 | 73 | 74 | 67 |
| Dante Sinman | Skeleton | 56 | 64 | 75 | 63 | 62 | 33 |
Bruise Receivers
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Route Running (RTE) | Catching (CTH) | Vertical/Jumping (VER) | Speed (SPD) | Intelligence (INT) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Zap Thriller | Human | 66 | 81 | 82 | 63 | 61 | 63 |
| Ditkadonis | Orc | 68 | 45 | 85 | 46 | 47 | 46 |
| Brodog JustnTime | Orc | 54 | 42 | 71 | 42 | 50 | 45 |
| Radman ShaMean | Human | 68 | 87 | 83 | 70 | 65 | 55 |
Guards
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Pass Blocking (PBK) | Run Blocking (RBK) | Downfield Blocking (DBK) | Intelligence (INT) | Toughness (TGH) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Vyle Shlong | Orc | 74 | 79 | 85 | 75 | 82 | 78 |
| Squash Sitton | Orc | 72 | 72 | 92 | 84 | 53 | 75 |
| Grody Whitesnake | Human | 58 | 61 | 76 | 54 | 55 | 68 |
| Scrotus Grossass | Orc | 46 | 52 | 51 | 46 | 42 | 57 |
| Slobbie Massive | Orc | 60 | 78 | 65 | 61 | 43 | 72 |
| Snarles Emo | Orc | 64 | 79 | 84 | 64 | 46 | 75 |
Defense:
Blitzers
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Block Shedding (BSH) | Tackling (TAK) | Hitting Power (POW) | Pass Deflection (DEF) | Toughness (TGH) | Blitzing (BLZ) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Rich Urine | Human | 74 | 97 | 86 | 70 | 74 | 67 | 87 |
| Skeggie Moldman | Orc | 69 | 70 | 81 | 79 | 46 | 86 | 88 |
| I. Scream Bricks | Orc | 85 | 96 | 96 | 83 | 74 | 84 | 100 |
| Oy Slobbertson-Hairless | Skeleton | 50 | 47 | 63 | 50 | 44 | 63 | 55 |
| Rhomathon Blowhard | Orc | 52 | 34 | 50 | 47 | 42 | 52 | 100 |
| Brawn Stankins | Orc | 59 | 49 | 63 | 74 | 47 | 81 | 70 |
Enforcers
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Block Shedding (BSH) | Tackling (TAK) | Hitting Power (POW) | Pass Deflection (DEF) | Aggressiveness (AGR) | Blitzing (BLZ) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cringe Bloodwretch | Orc | 59 | 45 | 50 | 84 | 38 | 81 | 75 |
| Pies Brawnson | Human | 64 | 57 | 69 | 70 | 63 | 85 | 74 |
| Noose Hangman | Orc | 60 | 61 | 47 | 86 | 33 | 84 | 78 |
| Monietooth | Human | 68 | 83 | 77 | 61 | 69 | 66 | 85 |
Cover Backs
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Man Coverage (MCV) | Intelligence (INT) | Tackling (TAK) | Vertical/Jumping (VER) | Speed (SPD) | Pass Deflection (DEF) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Prince I'ScareYoMomma | Skeleton | 73 | 84 | 69 | 78 | 85 | 80 | 72 |
| Vyle Killer | Skeleton | 69 | 79 | 71 | 81 | 76 | 70 | 73 |
| Lice Scaryman | Skeleton | 69 | 82 | 73 | 82 | 65 | 65 | 74 |
| Mucus Hooter | Skeleton | 53 | 63 | 42 | 60 | 64 | 58 | 62 |
| Raven LaStank | Skeleton | 53 | 43 | 43 | 43 | 52 | 54 | 55 |
| Shreck Mantis | Skeleton | 59 | 63 | 53 | 63 | 72 | 63 | 68 |
Line Bashers
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Man Coverage (MCV) | Block Shedding (BSH) | Intelligence (INT) | Tackling (TAK) | Hitting Power (POW) | Pass Deflection (DEF) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Violence McFearsom | Orc | 69 | 74 | 83 | 49 | 84 | 83 | 56 |
| Zany Leviathan | Skeleton | 78 | 87 | 84 | 83 | 93 | 64 | 77 |
| Chili Stung | Skeleton | 48 | 57 | 54 | 56 | 53 | 54 | 49 |
| Impale Steemin | Orc | 66 | 76 | 64 | 58 | 83 | 73 | 64 |
| Hick Killabrewski | Human | 59 | 66 | 58 | 59 | 74 | 62 | 54 |
| Skynyrd Void | Skeleton | 62 | 74 | 66 | 52 | 71 | 57 | 64 |
Safeties
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Man Coverage (MCV) | Intelligence (INT) | Tackling (TAK) | Vertical/Jumping (VER) | Speed (SPD) | Pass Deflection (DEF) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Steady Hacksome | Skeleton | 70 | 85 | 76 | 77 | 74 | 68 | 79 |
| Eon Rush | Skeleton | 60 | 76 | 59 | 58 | 65 | 63 | 72 |
| Stinkin Dumpins | Orc | 46 | 49 | 39 | 54 | 57 | 57 | 53 |
| Cranium Vamoose | Skeleton | 75 | 99 | 74 | 80 | 74 | 66 | 81 |
| Jude Rude | Human | 58 | 71 | 56 | 64 | 60 | 50 | 61 |
Special Teams:
Kickers
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Onsides Kicking (OSK) | Kicking Accuracy (KAC) | Kicking Power (KPW) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Goner Barf | Skeleton | 60 | 56 | 62 | 72 |
Punters
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Punting Accuracy (PAC) | Punt Hangtime (HNG) | Punting Power (PPW) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Splatt O'Dunno | Skeleton | 60 | 67 | 58 | 74 |
Burn Returners
| Player Name | Race | Overall | Break Tackles (BT) | Catching (CTH) | Speed (SPD) | Hands/Ability to not Fumble (HND) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Shulk Brawndo | Skeleton | 65 | 48 | 86 | 75 | 72 |
Trivia[]
Player References
- Quarterback Bark Buttfumble is a reference the infamous Butt Fumble play his real life counterpart, Mark Sanchez.
- Quarterback Mendy Mayhem is a parody of creative director Michael Mendhiem.
- Burn Returner Shulk Brawndo is a reference to the film Idiocracy and its popular advertising campaign revolving around the fictitious sports drink Brawndo, the "thirst mutilator".
Team Trivia
- The team is a spiritual successor to the Midway Monsters from the original Mutant League Football.
- Chiraq is a nickname given to Chicago due to it having more murders and violence than the Iraq War.
- This is the only team that has one All-Star, despite the Burns team scouting report claiming that they have one.
See also[]
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