Midway Mutants

The Midway Mutants are one of the teams in Mutant Football League. They are a parody of the Chicago Bears. Their logo is an orange biohazard symbol on a dark blue background. Like the Burns, the roster consists of Skeletal Deadheads, Monster Orcs and Mutant-Humans. Their stadium is Mercenary Field situated in Chiraq, Killinois and is a parody of Soldier Field.

Having gone through 3 coaches and 39 offensive coordinators in the last 4 seasons, inept management and even more inept drafting has kept this once proud franchise in the cellars of the league. With a new #1 draft pick at Quarterback and All-Star running back Gorgon Powered, along with a young, hard hitting defense... the Midway Mutants have renewed hope to restore their long lost dominance in the league. (Mutant Football League, Team Scouting)

Theme

Demons at Church by Matthew Kurpakus

All-Star

Gorgon Powered

#24 Running back

OVERALL: 67

Offense: 67

Defense: 71

Special Teams: 62

Dirty Tricks

Offense:

• Bombs Away
• Roid Rage

Defense:

• Berserk
• Ginormous (Alpha)
• QB Sack Attack (Alpha)
• Thunderclap

Player Stats

Offense:
Quarterbacks

Player Name	Race	Overall	Throwing Velocity (TVC)	Short Accuracy Throwing (SAC)	Deep Accuracy Throwing (DAC)	Throwing Power (THP)	Intelligence (INT)
Mitch Legitsky	Skeleton	72	80	93	79	79	66
Yikes Lemon	Orc	50	49	67	57	68	50
Bark Buttfumble	Human	62	50	73	64	73	65
Mendy Mayhem	Skeleton	62	58	76	69	73	63
Wretched Gristle	Orc	62	52	76	70	74	63

Running Backs

Player Name	Race	Overall	Route Running (RTE)	Break Tackles(BT)	Hands/Ability to not Fumble (HND)	Catching (CTH)	Speed (SPD)	Toughness (TGH)
Gorgon Powered*	Skeleton	73	78	86	86	76	68	87
Twitchy Krumps	Skeleton	70	83	75	75	75	68	83
Skriek Comet	Skeleton	78	86	82	76	87	97	71
Henry Cuttingham	Skeleton	56	57	66	68	79	58	65
Owen Deadwood	Skeleton	65	76	73	79	79	49	79

Receivers

Player Name	Race	Overall	Route Running (RTE)	Catching (CTH)	Vertical/Jumping (VER)	Speed (SPD)	Intelligence (INT)
Slameron Scarydeath	Human	60	62	73	61	62	54
Heaven Smight	Skeleton	60	56	75	77	73	48
Mosh Hellamy	Skeleton	56	63	68	63	63	41
Carcass Beatsome	Skeleton	58	42	78	76	80	50
Schmendle Fright	Skeleton	68	74	76	73	74	67
Dante Sinman	Skeleton	56	64	75	63	62	33

Bruise Receivers

Player Name	Race	Overall	Route Running (RTE)	Catching (CTH)	Vertical/Jumping (VER)	Speed (SPD)	Intelligence (INT)
Zap Thriller	Human	66	81	82	63	61	63
Ditkadonis	Orc	68	45	85	46	47	46
Brodog JustnTime	Orc	54	42	71	42	50	45
Radman ShaMean	Human	68	87	83	70	65	55

Guards

Player Name	Race	Overall	Pass Blocking (PBK)	Run Blocking (RBK)	Downfield Blocking (DBK)	Intelligence (INT)	Toughness (TGH)
Vyle Shlong	Orc	74	79	85	75	82	78
Squash Sitton	Orc	72	72	92	84	53	75
Grody Whitesnake	Human	58	61	76	54	55	68
Scrotus Grossass	Orc	46	52	51	46	42	57
Slobbie Massive	Orc	60	78	65	61	43	72
Snarles Emo	Orc	64	79	84	64	46	75

Defense:
Blitzers

Player Name	Race	Overall	Block Shedding (BSH)	Tackling (TAK)	Hitting Power (POW)	Pass Deflection (DEF)	Toughness (TGH)	Blitzing (BLZ)
Rich Urine	Human	74	97	86	70	74	67	87
Skeggie Moldman	Orc	69	70	81	79	46	86	88
I. Scream Bricks	Orc	85	96	96	83	74	84	100
Oy Slobbertson-Hairless	Skeleton	50	47	63	50	44	63	55
Rhomathon Blowhard	Orc	52	34	50	47	42	52	100
Brawn Stankins	Orc	59	49	63	74	47	81	70

Enforcers

Player Name	Race	Overall	Block Shedding (BSH)	Tackling (TAK)	Hitting Power (POW)	Pass Deflection (DEF)	Aggressiveness (AGR)	Blitzing (BLZ)
Cringe Bloodwretch	Orc	59	45	50	84	38	81	75
Pies Brawnson	Human	64	57	69	70	63	85	74
Noose Hangman	Orc	60	61	47	86	33	84	78
Monietooth	Human	68	83	77	61	69	66	85

Cover Backs

Player Name	Race	Overall	Man Coverage (MCV)	Intelligence (INT)	Tackling (TAK)	Vertical/Jumping (VER)	Speed (SPD)	Pass Deflection (DEF)
Prince I'ScareYoMomma	Skeleton	73	84	69	78	85	80	72
Vyle Killer	Skeleton	69	79	71	81	76	70	73
Lice Scaryman	Skeleton	69	82	73	82	65	65	74
Mucus Hooter	Skeleton	53	63	42	60	64	58	62
Raven LaStank	Skeleton	53	43	43	43	52	54	55
Shreck Mantis	Skeleton	59	63	53	63	72	63	68

Line Bashers

Player Name	Race	Overall	Man Coverage (MCV)	Block Shedding (BSH)	Intelligence (INT)	Tackling (TAK)	Hitting Power (POW)	Pass Deflection (DEF)
Violence McFearsom	Orc	69	74	83	49	84	83	56
Zany Leviathan	Skeleton	78	87	84	83	93	64	77
Chili Stung	Skeleton	48	57	54	56	53	54	49
Impale Steemin	Orc	66	76	64	58	83	73	64
Hick Killabrewski	Human	59	66	58	59	74	62	54
Skynyrd Void	Skeleton	62	74	66	52	71	57	64

Safeties

Player Name	Race	Overall	Man Coverage (MCV)	Intelligence (INT)	Tackling (TAK)	Vertical/Jumping (VER)	Speed (SPD)	Pass Deflection (DEF)
Steady Hacksome	Skeleton	70	85	76	77	74	68	79
Eon Rush	Skeleton	60	76	59	58	65	63	72
Stinkin Dumpins	Orc	46	49	39	54	57	57	53
Cranium Vamoose	Skeleton	75	99	74	80	74	66	81
Jude Rude	Human	58	71	56	64	60	50	61

Special Teams:
Kickers

Player Name	Race	Overall	Onsides Kicking (OSK)	Kicking Accuracy (KAC)	Kicking Power (KPW)
Goner Barf	Skeleton	60	56	62	72

Punters

Player Name	Race	Overall	Punting Accuracy (PAC)	Punt Hangtime (HNG)	Punting Power (PPW)
Splatt O'Dunno	Skeleton	60	67	58	74

Burn Returners

Player Name	Race	Overall	Break Tackles (BT)	Catching (CTH)	Speed (SPD)	Hands/Ability to not Fumble (HND)
Shulk Brawndo	Skeleton	65	48	86	75	72

Trivia

Player References

• Quarterback Bark Buttfumble is a reference the infamous Butt Fumble play his real life counterpart, Mark Sanchez.
• Quarterback Mendy Mayhem is a parody of creative director Michael Mendhiem.
• Burn Returner Shulk Brawndo is a reference to the film Idiocracy and its popular advertising campaign revolving around the fictitious sports drink Brawndo, the "thirst mutilator".

Team Trivia

• The team is a spiritual successor to the Midway Monsters from the original Mutant League Football.
• Chiraq is a nickname given to Chicago due to it having more murders and violence than the Iraq War.
• This is the only team that has one All-Star, despite the Burns team scouting report claiming that they have one.

See also

• Teams