"Brawltimore Razors" | |
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B&D Spank Stadium |
The Brawltimore Razors is one the teams in the Mutant Football League, released on a DLC (for 99 cents) on Halloween (October 31st), 2019. News of this team first emerged from the MFL's twitter page from 2019 in the MFL Draft. They are a parody of the Baltimore Ravens. Their logo is a bloodied skull wearing a top hat with two curved blades crossing underneath. The team plays at B&D Spank Stadium, a parody of M&T Bank Stadium. The stadium is the first to features guarded goalposts; a guillotine moves up and down between the goalposts capable of blocking extra point and field goal attempts.
For the Razors, life after Whacko begins with dynamic QB Lamaul Jackhammer. Like a wife in a failing marriage, Jackhammer is a threat to take off and run at every chance. Howerver, the Razors' WRs could find themselves on the back of milk cartons most games. Mark Instagram could get millions of likes for his play in this run centric offense, but he'll have competition for snaps. The Brawltimore defense is one of the league's best and will be their typical nasty and mean selves. (Mutant Football League, Team Scouting)
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Player Stats[]
Offense:
Quarterbacks
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Running Backs
Player Name | Race | Overall | Route Running (RTE) | Break Tackles(BT) | Hands/Ability to not Fumble (HND) | Catching (CTH) | Speed (SPD) | Toughness (TGH) |
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Receivers
Player Name | Race | Overall | Route Running (RTE) | Catching (CTH) | Vertical/Jumping (VER) | Speed (SPD) | Intelligence (INT) |
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Bruise Receivers
Player Name | Race | Overall | Route Running (RTE) | Catching (CTH) | Vertical/Jumping (VER) | Speed (SPD) | Intelligence (INT) |
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Guards
Player Name | Race | Overall | Pass Blocking (PBK) | Run Blocking (RBK) | Downfield Blocking (DBK) | Intelligence (INT) | Toughness (TGH) |
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Defense:
Blitzer
Player Name | Race | Overall | Block Shedding (BSH) | Tackling (TAK) | Hitting Power (POW) | Pass Deflection (DEF) | Toughness (TGH) | Blitzing (BLZ) |
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Enforcers
Player Name | Race | Overall | Block Shedding (BSH) | Tackling (TAK) | Hitting Power (POW) | Pass Deflection (DEF) | Aggressiveness (AGR) | Blitzing (BLZ) |
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Cover Backs
Player Name | Race | Overall | Man Coverage (MCV) | Intelligence (INT) | Tackling (TAK) | Vertical/Jumping (VER) | Speed (SPD) | Pass Deflection (DEF) |
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Line Bashers
Player Name | Race | Overall | Man Coverage (MCV) | Block Shedding (BSH) | Intelligence (INT) | Tackling (TAK) | Hitting Power (POW) | Pass Deflection (DEF) |
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Safeties
Player Name | Race | Overall | Man Coverage (MCV) | Intelligence (INT) | Tackling (TAK) | Vertical/Jumping (VER) | Speed (SPD) | Pass Deflection (DEF) |
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Special Teams:
Kickers
Player Name | Race | Overall | On sides Kicking (OSK) | Kicking Accuracy (KAC) | Kicking Power (KPW) |
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Punters
Player Name | Race | Overall | Punting Accuracy (PAC) | Punt Hangtime (HNG) | Punting Power (PPW) |
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Burn Returners
Player Name | Race | Overall | Break Tackles (BT) | Catching (CTH) | Speed (SPD) | Hands/Ability to not Fumble (HND) |
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Trivia[]
- Much like the real-life Baltimore Ravens, the Razors take a lot of their cues from the macabre works of Edgar Allan Poe, who died in Baltimore in 1849. The top hat of the logo is based on 19th-century fashion in line with Poe's time and works.
- One of Grim Blitzrow’s lines at the start of a Razors home game explains that the Razors were founded by the original Leaveland Burns, referencing a NFL controversy known as "The Move".
See also[]
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